Jan & Feb 2024 Stand-up
there's not better way to face your fears than to jump into them head first
When I committed to spending the winter here in Canada, I didn’t know how I’d spend my time or how I’d fare. I just knew what I wanted: to find my next meaningful full-time job, to teach yoga, to get involved in the community, to see friends and family, and cook. I just wanted to do all of the things that I’m not able to do when I spend months abroad.
It may seem like I went into hibernation; after all, the last time you heard from me was in December and I had committed to writing something every week (which is obviously not what happened). Here’s what I’ll go over:
Another new job announcement!
How I’ve coped with winter blues, and sourdough bread
Highlight from A New Earth
Ear Candy and lit literature
On Volition and Careers
I knew that I never wanted teaching yoga to be my primary source of income when I completed my training. Instead, I wanted to use it to build community, to have my “third place”, to spread the love and care of yoga and its teachings. I knew that I’d have to find a full-time job eventually, and that the next role I would take was going to be one that would afford me the chance to buy my first home, to take maternity leave, to climb up the ladder eventually. No more of the startup, fail fast and hard, life for me.
In January, I began working part-time as a front desk receptionist at a local yoga studio to understand the in’s and out’s of working in the industry. It was also a chance for me to pass the time and get a feel for the community while I focused on searching for my next role. This ended with me looking between two different offers for two very different roles and two very different companies come February. I knew in my heart what team I wanted to be a part of, and as of February 20, I’ve been working at Cority, an EHS and ESG software provider that leads the space it’s in.
It has been really great for me to feel some sense of purpose and volition again. For that, I’m thankful. I’m even more thankful that it seems like the perfect place for me to (in my manager’s words) put in my 8 hours of solid, hard work, and then turn off the computer and live the rest of my life. Which is something a startup would never tell you to do. Employee health and safety software is not nearly as sexy as working at a dating app like I was in the past. But I’m more than okay with that. The team is solid, the product(s) are solid, and most importantly, I have a healthy workplace to grow and build the skills I already have.
I’ve enjoyed coming back to my B2B SaaS roots. I picture the men and women and humans working in factories, oil rigs, hospitals, and more, being able to be empowered with safety training, with timely reporting on workplace incidents, and beyond. I picture my dad who works in an automotive factory. And the B2B Saas-y jargon seems to be worth it all.
Winter Blues and Sourdough Bread
For as long as I can remember, the winter blues sends me to the deepest depths of depression. The darkening skies at 4:30PM, the shades of grey that dot the sky, the slush and pale, frowning faces around me commits the crime of homicide against my soul. This year, I felt like things were going to be different. I think it was that I had spent 7 months of 2023 in other countries. A beautiful and exciting experience, but one that reminded me of how wonderful the pleasures of home can be.
After Christmas time came and went, I took the opportunity in January to soak up the hot room at my yoga studio of choice, make cozy soups, go to secret concerts, and hangout with friends. I took a meditation course that challenged me to meditate every day in January. I woke up 3 days a week at 5:10 AM to go to the gym.
In February, I did a cold plunge at a local lake with a group of breath-work practitioners and my boyfriend. The temps outside were -11 C that day. The facilitator had to use an ice saw to cut a hole for us to jump in. I began running outside, planning to run a half marathon in May. I took frequent walks, went to a spa with thermal pools, and started making my own sourdough bread. Between watching my starter rise, my long-runs, family visits, and the many exciting events in the extra-long February we had, the winter has flown by.
Here I am on the other side, as happy as ever.
On Honoring the Small Things
My approach to winter for the last two years was to get as far away from it as possible. My approach to it this year has not only saved me from seasonal depression, but brought me more joy and gratitude than ever before. It can be summed up by this quote from A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle:
The great arises out of the small things that are honored and cared for. Everybody’s life really consists of small things. Greatness is a mental abstraction and a favorite fantasy of the ego. The paradox is that the foundation for greatness is honoring the small things of the present moment instead of pursuing the idea of greatness. The present moment is always small in the sense that it is always simple, but concealed within it lies the greatest power. Like the atom— it is one of the smallest things yet contains enormous power. Only when you align yourself with the present moment do you have access to that power. … Anxiety, stress, and negativity cut you off from that power. … But why did anxiety, stress, and negativity arise? Because you turned away from the present moment. And why did you do that? You thought something else was more important.
This is how I got through the unemployment, the hours spent cleaning at the yoga studio between my receptionist duties, the 20 total hours of sunlight I saw in January, the fear that I’ll never find a job. I honored the present moment. I recognized that my only purpose was to give fully into what I was doing right then, right there. I was doing myself a disservice by fantasizing about beach towns, surf breaks, French wine, and Portuguese egg tarts. I share this with the hope that it sparks a moment of stillness and presence for you, too.
Ear Candy and Lit Literature
An Apprenticeship or The Book of Pleasures by Clarice Lispector. It’s creative, disconcerting, romantic, exciting. All of the adjectives. One of my favorite quotes: “Ah how much easier to to bear and understand pain than that promise of spring’s frigid and liquid joy. And with such modesty she was awaiting it: the poignancy of goodness.”
I’m finally finishing A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I’ll begin the Power of Now by him shortly - thank you
for lending me your copy of it.If you liked Glue by Bicep, you’ll love CHROMA 001 HELIUM, their latest release. Thank you EDM gods for your offering, as we all needed some fresh Bicep beats in our lives.
At my boyfriend’s first powerlifting meet of the year, the little Gen-Z’ers on aux played Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace, a song long forgotten but will forever remain in my heart. I was very happy to introduce it to my Spotify playlist.
Planning and Plotting for March
I’m home. I’ll be running a lot of course, getting ready for a puppy that I’ll pick up in April, settling into my new job, and seeing friends and family. If you’re around, please let me know! I would love to cook you a meal and catch up.
Otherwise, let me know what you’re reading, what you’ve been up to, send me a voice message, etc.
Sending you good energy,
Julie
❤️